Buffalo Fart…
There IS such a drink called a “Buffalo Fart” – I SWEAR THERE IS!
Back in circa 1992b.k. (before kids), one of my best friends, Dave, decided he was going into the Navy (no, the Billy Joel irony isn’t lost on me) so he invited me, my wife and our young kitten, Escher, down to Old Dominion University where he was going to school at the time. He wanted us to help him celebrate his pre-boot camp departure. As he said at the time, “the bar tab’s on me”. So really, who could resist an offer like that?
So we packed my little Suzuki Samurai Jeep and headed to Old Dominion. When you don’t have kids, you can do that sort of thing. And when we got there, we completely took advantage of his bar tab offer. Half way into his celebration (and after quite a few Long Island ice teas), he wanted me to try a “special drink” at the bar we were at – apparently, this was one of Dave’s favorite hang outs while he was attending Old Dominion University and also explains why he decided to join the Navy at the ripe old age of 26.
I didn’t exactly hear what Dave ordered over the loud music but by the time I got to the bar, he handed my a swirling brown glass that I swore had smoke coming out of it. “Drink this” he said, and we both raised our glasses and swallowed that evil, diabolical witches brew in one fell swoop.
When I was younger, I used to enjoy playing tackle football in the mud during rainy days. Occasionally, I’d fall head first in a huge mud puddle and would accidentally swallow some of that awful mud. I remember thinking, compared to what I just drank, that old, disgusting, disease-filled muddy water really wasn’t all that bad after all.
I just drank something so much worse.
“What the hell was that?” I coughed, gasped and wheezed toward Dave.
“That was a Buffalo Fart”, he said half joking, half mockingly since he knew I very rarely ever drank hard liquor. “Want another one?”
And we drank another one.
But ever since then, I’ve never been able to find any other bartender that has ever heard of a “Buffalo Fart” or anyone since who has ever heard of the drink. I just know, even despite all the alcohol that was already in my system before I drank it (twice) that night, it was STILL the most disgusting drink I have ever had.
Or ever will have.
-Chris
