A lesson in love…
[Edit: Since this post, I have created a simple photo album of Seagrams. If you would like to see what I saw for 15 years, click here and take a look at her.]
I’ve said on this blog many times since I’ve started, I always feel it’s important to be as honest and as truthful as you can be with your audience. So if I make a post that’s cheerful and “everything is super fine and everything is positive-positive-positive�?, even when I’m not feeling that, isn’t that a bit akin to lying to your audience? Those who can be super positive 110% of the time have always had my admiration and respect but sometimes, this world is a crappy place. Sometimes life is hard. And sometimes life is very, very sad. And I’m not fully convinced that on rare occasions, it’s perfectly fine to show your audience that it’s okay to be human every once in a while. That it’s perfectly acceptable to show a side of yourself that may not always be so uplifting and cheerful. If it was so bad, there wouldn’t be an “Old Yellar�? or a “Where the Red Fern Grows�?. I’m not saying people LIKE to be sad but I do think they appreciate the occasional sad story – if for no other reason, those sad stories serve to remind us to appreciate our love and cherish every good day we have.
So what is all the above babbling about? Quite simple. Today, I had to put a cherished member of our family at rest today. I had to put our cat – MY cat – Seagrams to sleep this morning. Seagrams was diagnosed with cancer last June. In addition to the cancer, she was also diagnosed as having a hyper thyroid problem. Because of the combination of the two diagnoses, the vets gave her only 3 to 6 months to live. She, to her credit, lived 11.
I’d like to think it was the love for us that gave her the strength to live five more additional months then she was supposed to.
For those of us who are pet owners, we all know the heartache we will eventually go through when it comes time to show our animals – our adopted, extended members of our family – one last generous gift of love. The same kind of love that they show us for 10, 12 or – in Seagram’s case – 15 years that they are part of our families.
This is a sad day for me but not because I had to put Seagrams to sleep. I knew for 11 months that this day would come. And that I would dread it when it eventually got here. But saying good-bye to her is not the thing that makes me the saddest. Saying good-bye to her actually filled me up with a bit of calm and peace as I knew she would no longer be suffering simply for my benefit. No, the thing that makes me the saddest is the “never more’s�?. There will be no more little acts of love, attention and devotion that made her truly unique. There will be no more sleeping on my chest and helping me fall asleep as I listen to her purr. There will be no more licking my goatee or pawing at my head (even as I push her off the bed so I can finally get some sleep after a long evening at the drawing board). It’s these realizations that make it hard. And sad. But ultimately, I know this sadness – although intense at the moment – will soon be replaced.
It will be replaced with a happiness… a fondness… a bitter-sweet laugh at the things she used to do, the way she used to act. Those things will come in time. And I know the same amount of heartache I feel right now will be replaced by an even greater feeling of joy that she was a part of our lives for 15 years. And no matter how great the pain is now, that pain could never, ever be as great as the joy she has given us these last 15 years. The pain will disappear and evaporate but the memories (and love) will last forever.
I will miss you, Seagrams. I already do.
A side note or two… obviously, because of today’s events, I’m not currently in the right mind to draw or “make with the funny�?. That won’t last very long but in the mean time, please enjoy my cartoons from Community MX called “CMX Suite�?. The strips appear every Tuesday at Community MX. I thank you for indulging me in this little post for today. In the next day or so, I will post pictures of Seagrams and let you see what I saw for 15 years.
(Added May 6th, 10:30am)
PS: I also want to thank all my Twitter friends who left their condolences to me in Twitterland. They are, as follows:
Thanks guys. Your kind words are very much appreciated!